Mothers of 4!

         Sleep is apparently over-rated when you are the mother of four! If you are like me, you  sometimes find yourself trying to re-live the glory days when you could stay up to all odd hours doing whatever you wanted (TV, COMPUTER, GAME NIGHT, BAR HOPPING, PHONE CHATTING, MOVIE WATCHING etc.) and then sleep until lunchtime...at least on Saturdays,Sundays, summer vacation, and all the important holidays. Well...those of us with kids know those lazy, fun days are officially OVER.Like long gone OVER! Because quite honestly, by the time our kids are old enough to sleep in until noon themselves, we will be older than old. Older than old people DON'T sleep in. I don't know why, but I don't know any  are you crazy?, "My kids sleep from 7:00 p.m. until 8:00 a.m...I have never gotten more sleep in my life, mine are in bed and done!"Good for you then...(here is where I stick my tongue out, lol) But for the rest of us sleep deprived (for more than a year  or 2 )moms...this is for you! My last two,Tank and Q are terrible sleepers and Tank only began sleeping overnight at age 3 and 3 months old. Q still gets up once or twice a night (most) nights!

Let's begin with the evening routine. If you are a stay at home mom(like me) with any sense of your complete mind and your sanity, your kids have a strict bedtime. Mine all go to bed at 8. Bath/Shower time is at 7:30. You brush their teeth(yes even the 8 year old needs some instruction,Dentist bills people, do you wanna shell out money for cavities and dental work due to lackadaisical brushing?), read them books,(have them read a book to you) say their prayers(remind them of the short version you prefer) and tuck their sweet crazy little bodies into their  bedrooms... thinking you will close the door with a smile on every one's face and not see these little cute angel-babies until sunrise.(HA) If this is current reality/dream, I am guessing that  a) you don't have any kids yet and think you can "sleep-train" or b) you happened to be blessed with one of those rare infants that sleep well. (and if you are, consider yourself one of god's chosen ones...really, that lucky!)

I look forward to bedtime, quite honesty, but I do not know any child that likes bedtime under 14.  From the moment of the announcement, "It's bedtime  wild sweet children ! Let's go brush "our "teeth!!" you can be 100% that you will endure a chorus of simultaneous whining, maybe some thrashing, definitely some bargaining and deal making. You know it will drag on and on times 4. Believe me not, you will hear it all! "What?! But MOMMYYYYY.....we didn't get to watch the movie of the day " YOU SAID we could before bed....Moooommmm!!" One can get easily sucked into this mantra and guilt-trip. If your kids are like mine, they know every  button to push. Additionally  if they are smart they will divide and conquer a plan together and ambush you. It has unfortunately happened too many times and I become a push-over. That is DEATH..well almost, because now they work on your weaknesses. That is BAD news folks.Ok, back on topic, Brushing their teeth  turns into a type of frenzy in a 3 ring circus (a 4 ring in my case) as you repeat(multiple times per kid) "Open your mouth! Look up! No UP! Smile..bigger.....stop drooling, it is nasty and  NO you are not done yet. Do you want bugs to come and live in there, keep going... getting water  on your toothbrush does NOT count!!!" And forget the daily flossing. I mean really. (sorry dentists out there) I can not floss each kid 1 or 2 times a day 7 days a week...so offer a new standard ok?)(Monday and Wed and Fri for us)Who has the energy for that after 13-15 hours spent with 4 little kids. You instruct everyone to use the bathroom, actually try and FLUSH the darn thing...and say "I MEAN IT" because you are so tired of flushing toilets all darn day that you could scream!(ok you do scream!!)


Then going into the(each) bedroom you go hearing, "Mom will you read me this?" Of course, you can bet that it will be the LONGEST
, most involved book on the bookshelf!  "No,not tonight honey, maybe tomorrow, how about this one, it is so cute"  as you pull out a easy reader and silently remind yourself to put the big one  into the garage sale pile you have not had time to organize... and take note of who gave that book to your child in the first place anyway? Surely some distant family member who knew she would not have to be here each night to read it and just wanted to pass on the misery. And if you have 4 kids  they surely will not all agree on the book so to stop the fights and more dragging on you read 4.Moving on....so once the books have all been read and the nightly reminders to "GO STRAIGHT TO BED"(complete with 3 sets of giggles and the acknowledgement of "we know mom" and the "look" that follow from you) . It is time to walk away. Right? No. Not here! It is now time to answer the many requests of "Can I have a sippy of water? Where is my Buzz Lightyear ?" (insert any item you know has been missing/gone and no one cared about till now?) " I wanted the Barbie pillowcase not the polka dot one, is it in the laundry? Mommy! You know I have to have my barbie one to sleep the best!" It's just too dark in here. I need my "doggy" light on. can you turn the sound soother up? I need the fan pointing to my face(LEGS,ARMS, TOES) It's too hot in here. I'm REAALLLLY HUNGRY can I have a little snack?" You quickly appease them efficiently while making  your way out their door...finally closing it with a BIG sigh of relief and the freedom 4 in bed means. AT LAST, quiet. No CALLIOU, No tattling,crying, fighting, laughing, barking, meowing(when Q is a cat of course). You go to the bathroom and pick up all 4 towels ,all bottles of soap and toys and toothbrush mess. Next wipe the counter and sink down from the disgusting needed tooth brushing episode and collect an army of dirty laundry. You make your way to the coveted sweet spot on the couch, click on the DVRed show you have waited beyond long enough to watch and relax.
 Now an old pro you know it is not over. Because knowing it is not over you don't start the show yet and it is a good thing cuz someone is calling. You decipher which kid, in which room and  remind your self to have patience and calmness as to answer 'YES,------------, (insert sweet ones name). New requests are made like " I want another kiss cuz you did not kiss me 2 times, just once." Goodness gracious I mean really!Another 2 to 4 kisses and hugs later you make your way back to the show. Just as you are coming to the first commercial break...you hear movement such as walking and can now sense which kid is on the move and make your way up the stairs with a mission."Momma,I have to go potty." What?!!! Didn't we go do that already, you were told to go, you know better than that_______(insert annoying ones' name), Now go". Are ya kidding me"Ugggh. And they know this tops ALL other delay tactics because  no body wants to be changing  any dirty wet bed sheets at 2 a.m , 8 am who am I kidding?." ......"and darling,  Flush the toilet and tuck yourself back in bed! And I don't wanna hear from you again tonight, unless it is an emergency!!! Love you and good night again".

Finally, an hour or two of stress relieving alone time(zoning out time) for the very first time all day. When you head off to bed yourself, you have to  flush all the toilets no one flushed in the last 4 hours, made all the school lunches and got the uniforms ready, loaded the dishwasher, loaded the backpacks  and set them by the front door,pick up left over clutter in all rooms downstairs...you can finally collapse into the hopes of long, needed deep sleep....just as you are beginning to drift off ...the sudden and all well knowing sounds of baby/child #1,2,3,or 4 opening the door,crying,walking,whining,peeing,coughing, sneezing, mumbling   needing only Mommy, will suddenly pull you back to reality as you awake. Your old(pre-kid) sleeping routine you once overlooked is gone! You now have kids...... Welcome to motherhood with four. Oh and Bedtime is about to begin(again).....wish me luck folks!!!!!